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Funny Birthday Wishes that Will Make Them All Smile

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Most Funny Birthday Wishes EVER

Whilst I was a small kid I had a fine buddy: a boy with curly hair. On his birthday, I gave him a card on which I painted a photograph of a tree and a person (who appeared more like a monkey), and I wrote my first birthday needs to my first-class friend: “satisfied Birthday to my fine pal! remember, I’ve given you a card for your birthday. I also want one from you.”

high-quality buddies are rare and in order that they deserve some rarer glad birthday costs. here is a completely unique collection of happy birthday fees for exceptional buddies. some are stupid, some are candy, but all are suitable for a real friendship.

125+ Funny Happy Birthday Wishes For Best Friend

funny happy birthday wishes

  1.  “Two older men sit on a park bench. One says, “Joe, I’m 84 years old, and I have nothing but aches and pains. How do you feel?” Joe says, “I feel like a newborn babe!” “Really, a newborn babe?” “Yes! I have no teeth, no hair, and I think I might’ve wet my pants!” Happy birthday!”
  2. “Listen, I hate to be the one to do this, but you need to get your birthday habit under control. It’s been scientifically proven that too many birthdays will, in fact, kill you. So give it a rest will you?”
  3.  “Happy birthday! Want to feel young and thin again? Let’s go hang out with a bunch of old and fat people.”
  4.  “Happy birthday! You know you’re getting old when you never walk past a bathroom without saying “well, I’m here already – I may as well pee.”
  5. “You know what they say: it’s better to be over the hill than buried 6 feet underneath it. Happy birthday!”
  6.  “On your birthday I’m going to share the secret to staying young: lying about your age.”
  7. “Smile – today is your birthday. Be happy and remember that things could be worse. Just think about what you’ll be like in ten years – yikes!”
  8. “Happy birthday! Congrats on joining the 28-years-old-forever club. We have millions of members all over the world.”
  9. “Congratulations on finally reaching the snapdragon phase of your life: one part of you has snapped, and the other part of you is dragging. Happy birthday!”
  10. “Happy birthday! They say that age is just a number. Yea right – and jail is just a room!”
  11. “Don’t be bummed about your birthday! You know what they say: it’s better to be a year older than to be one month late. Happy birthday!”
  12. “Happy birthday! Today, I would advise you to be nice to your kids. Remember, the older you get, the closer you get to having them choose a nursing home.”
  13.  “Wait – you’re how old today? You’re so lucky you’re not a dog. They would have put you down by now. Oh, well! Happy birthday!”
  14. “Congratulations! You only look one year older than you did on your last birthday.”
  15.  “Happy birthday! May you live to be so old, people start wondering if you’re the walking dead.”
  16. “Here’s to you on your birthday! May you live to be so old, you sincerely wish you were dead.”
  17. “Happy birthday! Don’t let a 27-year old Olympic gold medal winner make you feel like a failure on your birthday.”
  18.  “Happy birthday. I’m so sorry you’ve reached an age where pop culture marketers are no longer targeting you.”
  19. “It’s a special day – your birthday! Let’s go out and celebrate you being one year closer to removing your age from your Facebook profile.”
  20. “Happy birthday! Congrats on reaching an age that makes your receding hairline seem appropriate.”
  21. “Forgetting your birthday was merely an April Fool’s Joke. Unless, of course, I did remember it, in which case – please disregard this message. Happy birthday!”
  22. “I wish you a very happy birthday! Just please remember to tell me how old you’re pretending to be, so we can keep up the charade.”
  23. “Happy birthday to a person whose age now makes them cry even more than the day they came into this world.”
  24.  “Happy birthday to someone who is now taking drugs on their birthday for serious medical reasons.”
  25.  “I’m so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn’t think you would live this long. Happy birthday!”
  26. “Happy birthday! I sincerely hope that you don’t take this early birthday message as a sign that you might not make it.”
  27. “On your birthday, remember this: age is only a number that represents how attractive, happy and able-bodied you are. Really, it’s nothing to get worked up over. Happy birthday!”
  28.  “Wishes may come and go, but age always sticks with you. Happy birthday!”
  29. “I believe you forgot my birthday present last year. I’m returning the favor this year. I’m afraid a Happy Birthday is all you’re going to get.”
  30. “Happy summer birthday! Get out and enjoy it while you’re still young enough to not fall into the “high risk” category for heatstroke death.”
  31.  “Happy birthday! You’re how old? Oh man – that’s like, dead in dog years.”
  32. “I would be so much more into your birthday if it were my birthday.”
  33.  “You know, I would be a whole lot more excited about you turning one year older if I was in your will. Happy birthday!”
  34. “Happy birthday! Let’s celebrate the anniversary of your clever escape from the womb.”
  35. “As you get older, there are three important things that happen. First, you lose your mind. I can’t remember the other two. Happy birthday!”
  36.  “Happy birthday! Remember this today: if you lick all the frosting off a cupcake, it becomes a muffin – and muffins are healthy.”
  37.  “Happy birthday! After seeing all the candles on your cake, I seriously hope that you topped off your fire insurance.”
  38.  “Happy birthday to the one person I hope is still around when the iPhone 547 comes out.”
  39.  “A “few” years ago, you were smart, handsome and young. Today, you’re just an old fart. Happy birthday!”
  40. “Happy birthday! May the number of candles outnumber your gray hairs.”
  41. “Wishing a happy birthday to someone who should probably start worrying about what the government is saying about Medicare.”
  42.  “I know you received so many birthday wishes yesterday, but who’s here with you today? That’s right! Me.”
  43.  “Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.”
  44. “You know, they say that age is really all in the mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body. Happy birthday!”
  45. “Experts say that people lose their minds when they get old. What they forget to mention is that you really won’t miss it. Happy birthday!”
  46. “Happy birthday! You know you’re old when the candles start costing more than the cake.”
  47. “On your birthday, I want you to remember that you are only as old as you feel. But you’ll still always be older than me. Happy birthday!”
  48. “Happy birthday. It’s official – you can now begin your quarter-life crisis.”
  49. “It’s your birthday today, and I’m once again reminded how old I’m getting. Oh well – enjoy your day!”
  50. “Today, you turn 29! I promise to stop counting the years after this one. Happy birthday.”
  51. “Happy birthday to someone who is old enough to have had a Blockbuster card.”
  52. “I hope that your birthday is the best it can possibly be for someone who can barely function in society.”
  53. “Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.”
  54. “Happy birthday, babe! We’re such a great match because you hate celebrating your birthday, and I’m just too darn lazy to plan anything.”
  55. “Happy birthday to someone we’ll never have to say “died too young”.”
  56.  “Wishing you a very happy birthday. You don’t look a day over whatever age you were just a few years ago.”
  57. “Happy birthday! Let’s go see Jurassic World. It’ll make you feel less like a dinosaur.”
  58.  “I was going to send you a paper card, but my Internet connection came back just in time for me to send you his message.”
  59. “Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.”
  60.  “Happy birthday! We’re so glad we can count you among the living for another year.”
  61. “Happy birthday weekend! You’re so lucky that you don’t have to endure an office birthday party.”
  62. “It’s your birthday – a time for celebration. You’ve now reached an age where you can use the candles on your cake to light up your entire home. Happy birthday!”
  63.  “Happy birthday to someone who’s age has finally surpassed their number of Twitter followers.”
  64. “I’m sending this birthday wish to someone who is now too old to sit through a whole movie without having to get up to use the bathroom.”
  65. “I hope your birthday is filled with happiness and joy. Oh, you’re spending it with your family? I’m sorry –truly.”
  66. “For your birthday this year, I’m going to give you a piece of paper that might be worth $450 million – but is probably really worth nothing.”
  67.  “Happy birthday to someone who is so old and lonely, they could be the subject of a spooky Halloween ghost story.”
  68. “Happy birthday! May you live to be so old, handicapped stalls become a necessity and not just a spacious place to do your business.”
  69. “I hope that you live to be so old, your family members talk about you like you’re not even there. Happy birthday!”
  70. “Hey – don’t stress about getting older. You’re still young enough to be a professional curler, and that’s saying something. Happy birthday!”
  71.  “Happy birthday! I would have bought you a present, but I didn’t think you wanted me to take money out of the alcohol budget.”
  72. “Sending birthday wishes to someone who can still pass for a non-embarrassing age.”
  73.  “May you live long enough to be the direct cause of a Silver Alert. Happy birthday!”
  74. “Happy birthday to someone I truly hope is not having a mid-life crisis.”
  75. “Happy birthday to someone I hope realizes is way too old to go snowboarding or surfing.”
  76.  “Congratulations! You’re now so old, you’ll need performance-enhancing drugs just to ride a stationary bike. Happy birthday!”
  77. “Wishing a happy birthday to someone who is old enough to have sent out birthday wishes on MySpace.”
  78. “Happy birthday to someone who is almost old enough to die from the flu.”
  79.  “Happy birthday to a person so old, they use their smartphone to make an actual phone call.”
  80. “Here’s to a special birthday! May you get so intoxicated, you forget how old you’re getting.”
  81. “I hope your birthday is at least half as exciting as you portray it on Facebook and Instagram. Happy birthday!”
  82.  “Happy birthday! You’ve now reached an age where it’s no longer appropriate to claim you’re 29.”
  83. “Happy birthday to the one person whose agelessness is incredibly irritating.”
  84. “Happy birthday and congratulations on becoming that “old, weird” person at summer music festivals.”
  85. “It’s your birthday – let’s over-celebrate!”
  86. “Happy birthday, girl. I remember a time when you weren’t so disturbingly old.”
  87. “Happy birthday to you – and your newest chin.”
  88. “Happy birthday! I’m just here for some cake.”
  89.  “Hey there! Happy birthday! I was going to bake you a delicious rum cake, but I decided to go with a regular cake. Also, I’m really drunk.”
  90. “Birthdays are nothing more than nature’s way of telling us to sit down and eat more cake! I’m so glad that today is your birthday, and I can eat – I mean, share – your cake.”
  91. “Happy birthday, old man! You know, when I turned two, I panicked because in one year, I doubled my age. I thought, if I keep going this way, I’ll be 64 by the time I turn 5. Thank goodness things don’t work this way.”
  92. “Happy birthday to someone who thought they would have it all together by the time they reached this age.”
  93.  “You look, great birthday girl – considering your age. Happy birthday!”
  94.  “Happy birthday! Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. I won’t tell anyone how old you really are.”
  95. “They say that wisdom comes with age. That’s why you’re the wisest person I know. Happy birthday!”
  96.  “You know you’ve reached the old age when you back your car into the neighbor’s swimming pool from across the street and still believe that it was the car’s fault. You’re not quite there yet, but you’re close. Happy birthday!”
  97. “As people get older, they gain the respect of the people around them. I just wanted to let you know that today, on your birthday, I have all the respect in the world for you.”
  98. “On your birthday, we ask that you kindly act your age – not your shoe size. Thanks!”
  99. “Happy birthday! This is the oldest I’ve ever seen you. Just wait until next year.”
  100.  “Happy belated birthday! I didn’t forget your birthday – I just forgot yesterday’s date!”
  101. “Look, if you want me to remember your birthday, you’re going to have to start looking older. Happy birthday!”
  102.  “I really tried to send you something amazing for your birthday, but I couldn’t fit in any of the boxes at the post office. Happy birthday!”
  103. “You may not be getting any younger, but at least you’re still younger than me. Happy birthday!”
  104. “You know, when you think about it – a belated birthday wish is really just an extremely early birthday wish for next year. So technically, I’m already covered for next year. Happy birthday!”
  105. “You are such a sweet, polite, honest and witty person. I hope you accept my birthday wishes and these white lies today!”
  106. “I really hate to be the one to tell you this, but your wheelchair will be arriving tomorrow. Happy birthday!”
  107. “Happy birthday. I’m not going to lie to you and tell you that you don’t look old. That’s what your relatives are for.”
  108.  “I know you really want to turn back the clock, but with the number of years you’ve racked up, I’m really not sure that’s even possible. Happy birthday anyway!”
  109. “Happy birthday! I hope you don’t mind, but I re-wrapped the gift you gave me last year. You’re going to love it!”
  110.  “Happy birthday to someone who is officially so old, it’s creepy to watch teenage vampire movies.”
  111. “I wanted to wish you a happy birthday today and let you know that I truly do look forward to honoring your request of not getting you a gift this year.”
  112. “Happy birthday! I just wanted to let you know that I picked out your coffin on the way here.”
  113.  “Congrats – you’re officially too old to go to rock concerts. Happy birthday!”
  114. “Happy birthday. By the time you reach the next “new 40”, you’ll already be dead.”
  115. “Hey, happy 29th birthday – again. For the 20th”
  116.  “Now you know you’re getting old when you can’t even remember how old you are. Happy birthday!”
  117.  “I had plans to put an awesome, gorgeous present in your cake, but honestly, I didn’t want to get frosting in my hair. Happy birthday!”
  118.  “Happy birthday! It’s great to be healthy, young and filled with so much energy. Can you even remember what that was like?”
  119. “Alright, you can light the candles on your birthday cake now. I’ve alerted the fire department. Happy birthday!”
  120. “You’re at that age where you’re old enough to know better, but you’re still young enough to do it anyway. Happy birthday and enjoy!”
  121. “Today, it’s important to smile and laugh as much as you can. You don’t know how much longer you’ll have teeth! Happy birthday!”
  122. “Happy birthday! I wish you many more candles, and for a cake that’s big enough to fit them all.”
  123. “You’re so special, your birthday should be a national holiday. I would be happy to volunteer as the first person to take a day off of work in your honor. Happy birthday!”
  124. “Happy birthday! Never let anyone tell you that you’re old – especially if you can actually hear them say it without even having to read their lips.”
  125.  “Happy birthday! Today, we add another candle to your cake, and your doctor will add another prescription to your arsenal of medication.”
  126.  “It’s normal to ponder your life’s purpose and to have a personal crisis on your birthday. At least you get to be normal one day out of the year. Happy birthday!”
  127. “I try to give people birthday cards that match their age. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get my hands on a stone tablet or some ancient papyrus. This modern greeting will have to do. Happy birthday!”

HILARIOUS BIRTHDAY MESSAGES FOR FRIENDS

funny happy birthday wishes

  • When I looked at the date, I realized that it was your birthday, friend! When I thought about the year in which you were born, I almost fainted! You don’t look a day over a hundred!
  • Today, my friend, you have made me grateful for something…that I’m not the oldest person here!
  • Friend, on this day of the year, many, many years ago, you were born! I guess that’s something!
  • Friend, I hope that a million birthday wishes come true for you! It will match your age!
  • If I tried to count up to your age today, I would go hoarse! Happy Birthday, buddy!
  • Happy Birthday, friend! You were educated in the old ways! The pyramids wouldn’t have been built without you!
  • Happy Birthday to a friend, who is unforgettable! Mainly because you are the grayest one here!
  • Before there were maps, people used the stars to guide them. You would know!
  • Today friend, you should be glad! You can paint on canvas and not in a cave!
  • On this date friend, you might ache a little more. That is because you are old!
  • Remembering you today, friend, is easy! The sheer number of your years is astounding!
  • Friend, don’t mind me, but ask anyone and they’ll tell you the same: calling you young would be a mistake! A HUGE mistake!
  • Cheers to a friend who can tell me when bread was only five cents!
  • As your friend, I am here to remind you of significant things! Like always use Bengay!
  • Today, friend, count your blessings, not your years. You don’t have that kind of time!
  • Friend, you really exemplify a phrase, for me! Long in the tooth, comes to mind!
  • Now is the time to tell you what you truly are, friend! An old geezer!
  • Happy Birthday, friend! Age is not a big deal… to me! I’m still young!
  • Happy Birthday, friend! You are as old as you are dear to me!
  • Dear friend, I know you know who I am, but I hope you get tons of wishes from all those other stalkers on the web who call themselves your ‘friends’ too.
  • I was going to send your gift in the mail, but the mail service said I weighed too much, so here I am.
  • Hey bestie, I know you are sad about your age this year, but no worries- I’m here to blow out your candles for you so you can feel like a real kid again!
  • We have stuck by each other through thick and thin. We’ve been there for each other all these years and we’re still two bitches who are better together than apart. That says something, don’t you think? Stay fabulous, babe.
  • Wait, you are how old? Oh jeez, that’s almost dead in doggy years. I’m so glad we met when we’re kids. Happy birthday, bestie.

Cracking a Birthday Joke | Huge List of Funny Birthday Messages and Wishes

funny happy birthday wishes

  • We thought we would get the right amount of candles to put on your cake this year, but quickly ran out of space. Happy Birthday!
  • One of the best pieces of advice in life is “you have to appreciate the little things”. That said, I know that spotting little things is easier said than done at your age! Happy Birthday!
  • Seeing as I usually forget everyone’s birthdays, you should consider it a miracle that I’m sending you this message. Happy Birthday
  • it’s about time one of us turned 18! Drinks are on you, then! Happy Birthday!
  • Don’t let your age get you down, it won’t be long until you are allowed to start learning to drive. But until then, on your bike! Happy Birthday!
  • To my brother who still owes me several big ones. I didn’t get you a gift this year, so let’s call it even. Happy Birthday!
  • I can’t believe how big you’re getting! Long gone are the days when I could steal cake from your plate and no one would ever be the wiser. Happy Birthday!
  • Don’t you think it’s about time we grew up a bit and stopped painting the town? I know exactly what you’ll say. Next year. Happy Birthday!
  • I’m not a fan of overly sweet messages as you know, birthdays are for fun! So let’s ditch the old folks later and get out and about like we used to! Happy Birthday!
  • Oh yeah, one more year to annoy everyone you know. Happy Birthday, anyway!…
  • I hope you have low expectations for your meal and cake this year, I hear dad’s having a go at being the chef. Happy Birthday!
  • One more year to pretend you’re old enough to care about people around you.
  • You’re not old. You’re just old enough to know better and not old enough to care. Happy Birthday!
  • The emergency department is on speed dial just in case you have an unexpected asthma attack blowing the candles.
  • Party like it’s 1959 when you could still dance and drink alcohol without ending up you to the hospital.
  • Remember when we stayed up late running from the law? No? Good. I don’t either. Happy Birthday,
  • Another year to prove that older doesn’t really mean wiser. Happy birthday!
  • Going old happens. Growing up is a choice. Happy Birthday.
  • Happy Birthday. You’re one step closer to diapers being mandatory!
  • I made a list of
  • It’s your birthday, but make sure you get all your present before you offend everyone.
  • Today is your birthday, the only day you’re allowed to say things that you’d regret on any other day.
  • Oh yeah! You’re getting closer to the age when the government sends you money every month. Happy Birthday!
  • Statistics show that people who live longer have more birthdays, costing us more money for presents!
  • If you counted your birthday in dog years, you’d now be a teenager! Happy Birthday.
  • Another year to kick your bucket list to the curb.
  • the words of wisdom I wanted to give you for your birthday. It’s still blank. Maybe next year.
  • May all your birthday wishes come true — except for the illegal ones!

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Tabi Ch
I am Tabi Ch, Software Engineer, and a web developer also Professional Blogger from Pakistan. I have 4 years of experience in development and blogging. I love to play with code and contribute to open source communities also love to rank websites. Thanks

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